Ashes to Ashes

It probably hasn’t escaped the sports-savvy ones among you, but for others, Australia and England are to play back to back Ashes series from June till January. The idea of conjoined bowlers baffling left and right handed conjoined batsmen is probably an idea I should pitch to a Brendan Cowell/Farrelly Brothers consortium. Or not. Switch Hit seems a nice title.

Anyway, this is a big moment in domestic relations. For cricket lovers, this is heaven. For the rest, hell is about to descend. The last time such an occurrence occurred was 1974-5, when Australia hammered England 4-1 out here and then snuck a 1-0 win in the series rapidly scheduled to coincide with the inaugural World Cup in England. Bizarrely, if we had lost in England, which wasn’t out of the question – Free George Davis and all of that – we would have held the Ashes for about 6 months. I guess the shortest reign in history. That could happen this time – we could win over there and lose over here (more likely, England could win over there and then lose here, which raises tactical issues about playing a bit dead in the first series.)

And we know that there were major political shockwaves later in 1975. I’m not saying David Steele was to blame for the Dismissal of the Whitlam Government. But the natural rhythm was disrupted. And he did look like a Governor General.

But I digress… My real point in posting is to seek to reduce tension in households all over the world. There are five (5 only) matches in each series. Each one goes for five days (maximum). Each day covers six hours of play and one hour of breaks. Take off about 2 hours per test for rain or early finishes.

That means there are only 5 x 5 x7 – 10 hours in a series. Only 165 hours a series. In contrast, a week has 24 x 7 or 168 hours in it.

So, the Ashes goes for less than a week.

See, no reason for any fuss.


About peterwarrington65

geography, street art, cricket, Richmond Tigers, PJ Harvey, View all posts by peterwarrington65

9 responses to “Ashes to Ashes

  • Kenny MacFaber

    Puhlease! The only ashes related topic we should be talking about at this time of the year are where to bury James Hird’s

  • James Rayner

    Pete, the away series is at night time here. Kids are asleep, and the better halves will probably will be too for most of it. In Australia, it will be like every othee summer. No drama at all.

    • Peter Warrington

      Clearly I will be in your spare room for a week. Spread over two months. Real issues around the first session remain – tape QandA etc and ask the non-cricketing heathen population to watch later, or tape the first session and just watch on delay (Andale!) and catch up by fast forwarding.

      What’s your work strategy, big fella?

      • Peter Warrington

        from the UK Telegraph site re Steele:

        It was an irresistibly romantic tale. Famously careful with his money – he was nicknamed ‘Crime’ because crime doesn’t pay – Steele’s ideal distraction had been his benefit year with Northamptonshire, the best deal of which came when a local abattoir sponsored him.

        “Yes, a lamb chop for every run up to 50 then after 50, I was on steaks.” By the end of his best-ever summer, he’d earned 1,756 lumps. “We had this list up in the kitchen and when we’d run out, we’d ring Harry at the abattoir and he’d say ‘Aren’t you finished yet?’ I’d say ‘No, we’ve still got another 200 left’. Kept us in meat for three years, that did.”

    • Peter Warrington

      James, it’s not my style to parent for others – we have enough on our plate doing it here – but I really think you’ll be letting your kids down if you let them sleep through the winter night. Your eldest at least is at a ripe sort of age to sneak a tranny (radio) under her pillow and waft between sleep and wake listening to Jim Maxwell and the other tarts rabbiting on.

      I have very fond memories of the iconic 72 Ashes. Bob Massie. Fusarium. Lillee. Greg Chappell blooming. Graeme Watson. Marsh sweeping Norman Gifford for four 6’s. Geoff Arnold. The bloody poet John Snow. That English batting lineup that seemed so, well, English… Edrich Luckhurst or Wood Fletcher Hampshire. And then Dolly, god old Basil D’Oliveira. Greigy. Knotty. Deadly Derek. A great team, worth hating. 2 runs an over but it seemed so fresh.

      I was 7, and can remember it more than 40 years later. Their future is in your hands…

  • Jack Hawks

    I’m revelling in Essendon’s pain while it lasts!

    And shush, Croady’s a kiwi and probably needed some good meds in retirement after hobbling back to lay that bump on the hapless Ducking Selwood in the 08 grannie.

  • Peter Warrington

    oooh spooky. David Steele is now in his late 60s and looks very similar to Nick Whitlam, SoG. google them to see for yourself.

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