Author Archives: peterwarrington65

About peterwarrington65

geography, street art, cricket, Richmond Tigers, PJ Harvey,

Chuck didn’t chuck

Leslie O’Brien Fleetwood-Smith

More Errol Flynn than Stevie Nicks

A glimmer of left arm unorthodox

As depression gripped the docks

Centre-part and pencil mo

Formed a pair with Billy O’

He did take one for two-nine-eight

But Hammond’s scalp was on his plate

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Winter is coming…

“Winter is coming”

Said John Snow

Off the long run; 7 for 4-0

Targeting fingers

Targeting stumps

Blueing with the fans and

Blueing with the umps


To the Victor go the spoils

Imagine if Victor Trumper

Tapped his foot like little Thumper

It would make his straight drives far from handsome

Less Kim Hughes and a lot more Handscomb

Imagine if he twirled his bat

And wore a white, floppy hat;

Imagine that, but reflect on this –

He was twice as good, and averaged half as much as, Smith


POSTERIOR BOYS

Some men are born without a bum

And they’re stuck like that till kingdom come

Their pants go up and then fall down

Bumless men are in your town


Seasons…

At the beginning of every footy season I make the same pledge. Not to change teams – that’s a never. Not to stop watching this year – that usually comes around the June long weekend.

No, it’s a constructive pledge, made in good faith. And, as any resolution should do, it lasts as long as my resolve, which, generally, is a few weeks.

The pledge is to fill the season with the smells of home cooking. Thus putting all of that time to good effect – it essentially means (football) results don’t matter. If I can put good food on the table, fill the freezer with simple reheats or kids’ lunches, I will be encouraged to watch footy, potentially as much as I want.

I think I may have disclosed earlier that the Tiger curse lays heavily on my kitchen. And, as evidenced by last night’s dramatics*, it’s just not possible to combine watching Richmond and constructive cooking. (Destructive eating – hello, old friend…)

So the cooking comes into play as required, generally as a post-game stress reliever, or a pre-game nerve preventer. (B)eater-blocking.

Well, it’s week 1 and I am master of my own domain. In play we have:

  • Pete’s Table-topping pop-up beef stew
  • Pete’s sneaky beans
  • Pete’s oh! pears

Pete’s table-topping pop-up beef stew

Wake up hungry. Go to the butcher on Good Friday (ah, Marrickville, you perfect ville).

1kg of blade. Cut chunky, say 1.7m cube. Who cares, it’s Easter. Start with an onion, chopped in accordance with mood. Lightly sweat over a mild heat, lid on, cast iron French pot. Smash a garlic clove and dice the bugger, add to the onion. Reserve one garlic clove (raw) and eat if going to the Dendy later. Add the meat and brown. You can coat the meat in flour first, but lazybones will just chuck a table spoon in and stir to make a gravy. Add paprika.

Let this ferment over low-medium heat for 15 minutes while you revisit the empty fridge. Take the scungy carrot and dice it. Voila. Hide a zucchini and dice half of it. Take all the mongrel tomatoes you can find and roughly chop those, chuck it in.

At this stage, add Worcestershire sauce. enough to make your heart stop. Just enough.

Drain a tin of lentils while the kids are high on chocolate. They won’t even notice. Chuck half of that in. Half a tin of diced tomatoes, juice and all. Splash of quality red. Salt and pepper.

By now you’re oven should be nicely 200.

Pop some baking paper over your masterpiece. Lid on, in we go, say 90 minutes. If you’re not rushed, just turn the heat off after that, let the frog slowly boil into a caramel everythingness.

Serving options:

  • if alone, eat straight from pot! Don’t stop till you get enough.
  • Plated with mash.
  • Cooked a glorious second time, in a pie.
  • If rushed for time or don’t give a flying freddo frog, add a square of pastry to the stew/mash plate, and pretend you saw it on Foxtel.

This will freeze with ease, but eat the fucker, it will smell so good!

Pete’s sneaky beans

This one’s a great work lunch microwaver, or easy dinner for kids – could even be tacoised if required.

Half an onion and a garlic clove (avoid the extra fresh one unless going to the Chauvel that night.) Chuck in the second half of the tin of tomatoes above. Get that all tight and saucy, thick and swimmable. Grate the half a zucchini and add with the half a tin of lentils above. Plus salt and pepper. Let that bumble along for 15 mins with the lid on.

Add two tins of red kidney beans, including the sauce; add a bit more salt and pepper.

Cook lid on for 20-30 mins until thick and contestable.

Chuck into meal size portions, cool safely, and freeze until required.

Pete’s oh! pears

Wait till the buerre bosc pears are on special, $2-3 a kilo. Buy them a week ahead so they unconcrete a bit – get them out of the crisper for a couple of days.

We usually cook 6. Core, and peel if you want.  Baste with a sugar/vanilla syrup. Sit in a ceramic baking tray with arses covered in the syrup – make sure you coat the core hole, too.

Cook on that beautiful residual heat from the stew – start at around 150 for 30 mins or so, then drop down to 100 for another 30, then turn the stove off and just let it be.

Re-baste with the syrup every 15 mins or so, until you don’t give a shit.

These are great served hot with custard, ice cream etc. But we like ours cold, with hot porridge, so store them in the fridge until the perfect autumn breakfast moment.

From this you should get dinner for four (stew) plus a couple of piefuls leftover; 3-4 work lunches; and a cracking dessert for four plus a couple leftover for breakfast.

Next week, it’s the Tigers and the Pies on Friday night, so cooking might be Saturday night – it’s going to rain for much of the week, so I can feel a soup coming on.

Until then, happy cooking, happy eating, enjoy Shane Watson’s final moments, and I hope your team wins, unless it is Adelaide, Brisbane, Carlton, Collingwood, Essendon, Fremantle, Geelong, Gold Coast, Hawthorn, Melbourne, North Melbourne, Port Adelaide, Sydney, St Kilda, West Coast, Western Bulldogs or Western Sydney.

* If you haven’t caught up, the Tiges managed to turn a routine win over wooden spoon contender Carlton into a great escape. Still, we’re on top right now, and they’re right on bottom.


Blinky Billie

Billie wasn’t like other girls

She blinked a lot. She blinked so much, they called her “Blinky Billie”

Billie didn’t care; she kept blinking

Everyone was so busy laughing at her teasing her, they forget to ask why she blinked so much

Her parents thought she had dry eyes. The doctor thought she might have a nervous condition

Billie didn’t care; she kept blinking

So how did she come to blink so much?

Well, her brother kept playing this song about a girl with kaleidoscope eyes. She thought that would be cool. To see the world like that.

The  one night, she heard her dad, as he left her bedroom, say to her mum “I can’t wait for her to shut her eyes”

That night, all Billie could think about, as went in and out of sleep, from dreams to nightmares to nothingness, was “shutter eyes… shutter eyes… shutter eyes…”

When she woke, and blinked, she was so surprised. Her eyes were like a camera! Every time she blinked her eyes took a photo of what she could see, and stored it away

Billie spent hours that morning taking photos of the things around her- her room, her house, her friends, her family, the garden, her breakfast, herself (in the mirror), her books, her cat, the sky, the beach, a ball, random things, but things she loved nonetheless

She realised that if she didn’t like what she was looking at, she could blink up a picture she did like. Instant replay. So the more people teased her, the more she blinked – blink; blink; blink. “Silly Billie”, they said. She didn’t care, she kept on blinking

She took thousands of thousands of pictures. Then one day one of the pictures she blinked up scared her. After a while, she realised that is was two pictures put together, she had blinked so much her eyes were getting tired and she was starting to see double

She didn’t like that feeling, but if she concentrated really hard, she could usually blink up something that made her feel OK again, like her mum, her cat, or a cloud

Other times only the scary images came. She kept her eyes on things that made her feel safe. But if she blinked, up might come a picture, and she would notice things she’d never seen before. Shadows, or shapes in the shadows, or shapes without shadows. Sometimes she was confused, was it a picture she’d seen but never noticed the darkness, or just a mash-up of two images.

Sometimes, maybe more than sometimes, these pictures were exciting. Things she couldn’t understand, or imagine on her own. Like art she’d seen in her father’s books on Bosch, art she had seen but wasn’t meant to

She had to work really hard to hold those pictures, so she could study all the detail. If she blinked, they were gone. She could never get them back quite the way she wanted or remembered. BUt – sometimes – in searching for them she found something else that excited her

Like dark, shadow, halos, other tricks of the light. Colour, texture, shape, movement. Faces blurring and merging. People with 8 legs and a cat’s tail. These pictures made her laugh. Laughing, blinking, laughing, blinking.

Blinky Billie, they called her. She didn’t care, she was too busy laughing. And blinking.

She was the girl with shutter eyes…


Hazy non-fantasy

The winter passed too quickly

Now we swelter in the heat

In the streets the buzz of flies

The stench of rotting peat

Cut grass fills the lungs

Some stupid Christmas song

Gargles like a choking magpie

As the haze goes on an on

(In defence of slightly cooler weather, and better cricket selections)